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MEN
AND VIOLENCE
This is a picture from the
mid '70s of me and my cousin, Mark (for
those not from L.A., that's a gun in his
mit). What more can I say about the difference
between men and women? If shooting or pounding
on someone is the measure of a man, I take
pride in [pardon my French] being a pussy.
Guys are forced to live up to this ridiculous
ideal that is not only harmful to society,
but hard on themselves. Think about it -
what does "being a man" mean?
- Covering up your feelings. A stiff upper
lip is really just a fear of looking or
being vulnerable. Well, we are all vulnerable.
At least have the courage to confront
your true self. Courage is not fearlessness.
Courage is the acknowledgement of fear
and the strength to continue in the face
of it.
- Asserting your dominance. Okay, Napoleon.
Leave this behavior to the lions. And
if you must mark your territory, try not
to get it on the toilet seat.
- Accepting any challenge put to you.
If you think someone is such a jerk, a)
why do you care what they think of you?
and b) why are you doing exactly what
they tell you to do? If someone in a bar
asked me to "step outside,"
I'd let them know they're not worth getting
up over, let alone losing my seat over
[after I'd stopped laughing, of course].
While I'm not a Freudian, I do think the
sex-obsessed shrink had at least one good
idea... The first human being who hurled
an insult instead of a stone was the founder
of civilization.
Granted, men are at a biological disadvantage
when it comes to controlling themselves
(testosterone is Latin for fist fight),
but we're no longer living in caves. If
women can endure natural childbirth, you
boys can learn to find another way to settle
your differences. When women get upset,
they go shopping (or, in my case, put on
Nick Drake). When men get pissed, they invade
a country. Enough, boys. We know you're
tough.
[For the record, my cousin is a peace-lovin',
God-fearin' sweetheart.]
FYI...
- Women were 10% of the local jail inmates
in 1996, unchanged from 1989 [Bureau of
Justice stats].
- Women were 5% of the State prison inmates
in 1991, up from 4% in 1986 [Bureau of
Justice stats].
- In 1998, 87% of those who commit homocide
are men. Males were almost 9 times more
likely than females to commit murder [Bureau
of Justice stats].
- 42% of men but just 9% of women own
guns. [1994 National Survey on Private
Ownership and Use of Firearms]
Machismo is for Rambo flicks and razor
ads. The coolest men I know have a balance
of feminine and masculine traits (except
for the drag queens). I love them that way.
It's up to you guys to let the rest of your
sex know that kicking ass is tantamount
to being one.
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